Another Nice Day

I have a feeling at the moment that things are starting to come together. My tidiness problem now seems less daunting than before. There's still plenty to do, but the stuff I have is at least better organised, in neat boxes (see above), and a first wave of chucking-out or selling-on-ebay means there's less of it than there was before.

So life is good. Yesterday I resolved to take a second trip through my cupboards and see if more space could be freed up, and today I felt quite pleased with myself at clearing almost a whole shelf's full of space. (That's about two-and-a-half standard storage boxes worth of space, for those following along at home.) It was almost a shame to fill that space, but that in turn freed up some more space in other places, so it all comes good in the end. And I'm looking forward to doing more tidying tomorrow. It's quite addictive once you get into it. I wonder what on earth I'm going to do with myself once the grand tidying-up is all done...

I'm also turning my attention to healthy eating. I had a very nice salad for lunch, with vegetables and chicken and rice and everything. It was good. In fact I might have it every day. I also had extra vegetables with my tea, which was also good. I might even have reached the Government-mandated 5 portions a day. Perhaps I should have some fruit to make sure. I'll do that in a minute.

I feel remarkably content right now. I think it must be the time of year. The weather is cold outside - so cold, in fact, that for the last two mornings my heating has come on, despite the thermostat being cranked down super-low due to the summer. But it seems that summer is over. So while it's cold outside, it's now nice and warm inside, which I find very very pleasing indeed.

Life is, as they say, good. And who wouldn't be delighted by that?

Payday

Today is the glorious 27th. Glorious because it is payday. Every month, the 27th is the day when I get paid. Unless the 27th is a Saturday, Sunday, or Bank Holiday, when I get paid on the last Thursday. Or something like that. There's some method to it but I try not to pay too much attention to it.

And it seems that it has been a productive day. When a young boy's thoughts turn to money matters, the frugal impulse kicks in, and I find new ways to ensure that my pennies are properly conserved and stored for the future. So this evening I have been making phone calls a-plenty.

First off, a call to the nice people at the cable company. Long-term readers will know that for some baffling reason I continue to pay them for their lousy service. I made a phone call today to bring that amount down to something slightly less. Not much, it only saves £4.50 a month, but for something I never EVER use, and only seem to hang on to for no good reason at all, it seems like a reasonable saving to be made. And it takes me one step closer to cancelling for good, one day.

Secondly, a phone call to the nice people at Sky. People say bad things about Sky but I got through to them quickly, got straight through to the right department, and told them where they could shove their movie channels. (Which, rather ungraciously, I had been getting cheap for the last three months, although that offer has now expired.) And while disposing of the movie channels, I also got rid of the "News & Events Mix", because there's nothing in it I need, and the only two news channels which matter (Sky News and the other one) are free anyway. No point in paying £21 a month when you can just as easily pay £20 a month. (That's "5 mix" for those playing along at home.)

Earlier in the day, a phone call to BT, from whom I had ordered their whizz-bang "BT Vision" television broadband thingummy. Boxes and stuff were supposed to arrive yesterday, but they did not. A call to BT today reveals that there is "some kind of problem" with my order, which they cannot track down or fix, leaving them with no option but to cancel my order completely. And cancelling this order will take 48 hours. So could I please call back and order again next week?

Sure. Or I could just not bother. Another £14.99 a month saved! Perhaps I'd rather have the money.

Had a quick look around my various online banking accounts and was delighted to discover that the missing £3 (which had gone missing in a previous "lost cheque" shenanigan) was now once again found. Which was nice. This may be the electronic equivalent of finding coins down the back of the sofa.

Registered an internet domain name (a www.something) for possible use in future artistic endeavours.

Bought £100 of premium bonds, in the hope that my number might come up and the resulting millions will pay for those future artistic endeavours.

Looking over my other monthly outgoings, I can't see anything too obvious to get rid of. So that'll do for now. And so it is that, as with every payday, I am briefly a man of means. Hooray! Of course there's a whole month's worth of bills to come yet. :-)

King of iTunes

I love iTunes very much. I admit that I didn't really see the point until someone bought me a Shuffle, which necessitated my downloading of the hitherto unexplored beastie, but I soon fell in love with it.

The recent announcements of the new iPods brought about the urge to secure a 'classic' (well, v2) Nano before it was too late. Having got a nice deal on a black 8gb from Amazon, I picked up a red 8gb on eBay at a similarly irresistible price. (Yes I wuv you, Mr Red Nano, yes I do, yes I do..)

But anyway.. Much as I love iTunes, sometimes there are things you can't do with it. It's not easy to move your MP3s from one disc to another, for example. Not without losing the play counts and ratings. Which you get used to after a while, and it would be a shame to lose...

The nice thing is, I found a devilishly excellent (and considerably nerdy) trick which gives me full mastery over my iTunes. No laborious moving files around for me. Rename tracks individually? Ha ha ha. I pity the fool. 

Tonight I was getting tired of the tracks in my library from many bad compilation albums. The information usually had the artist titles in the track name - meaning I had thousands of tracks called "Peter Andre / Flava" by the popular artist 'Various'. As opposed to the less popular artist, Peter Andre. But I digress... the upshot of it all is that using my considerable excellence and skillo skill, I managed to rename something like 3,000 tracks in the blink of an eye. Which certainly beats typing out all the track names again. 

And therefore, in short, I must admit to feeling rather pleased with myself. Can I be King of iTunes now? Just for a few minutes? :-)

Fine Dining With Antnoise

Be sure to notice the 20% discount I received in recognition of being the world-famous Ant. :)

Motor Control

So here's how I spent my Sunday evening. Eating crackers and cheese, as one does, while catching up on some Calvin and Hobbes comics on the computer.

It all went very well. First I dropped the knife - and after a few minutes peering around on the floor, even after turning on the light and looking around with a torch and everything, I was forced to conclude that it had disappeared.

I went downstairs to fetch another knife, and returned to resume my eating. This continued for several more minutes until I then dropped the box of crackers, resulting in crackers flying all over the floor, accompanied by the crumbs that are inevitably created by the act of carelessly smashing a box of fragile crackers against an unyielding hard surface like the floor.

So I picked up the crackers, swept up the crumbs... and made a mental decision never to attempt any tasks requiring such complex hand-eye co-ordination ever again. I think I'll go to bed - let's hope I can at least manage that.

The People's Choice

I discovered last night that someone else actually reads this blog. This came as something of a surprise, given that I had previously assumed it had a maximum readership of 1, on a good day. But no! Someone else is reading, watching, analysing my every word and phrase. I am being examined, studied, as scientists may study creatures which swarm and multiply in a drop of water.

I don't know if I'm flattered or horrified! How am I to give pleasure to an audience of many people? Wibbling about cardboard boxes is one thing, but an actual proper audience is harder to please. I may have to buff up my act, bring out the 'A' material, guaranteed to be a crowd-pleaser at all times. If not, booing and rotten tomatoes are bound to issue forth from an unsatisfied audience.

It can only lead to a massive decline in quality as we race headlong towards the lowest common denominator. And who wouldn't be delighted by that? So, for all the good readers everywhere, here's a cute picture of a sleeping cat:

Box Fresh

At some point, everyone with a clutter problem turns to some kind of "storage solution". Apparently even a plain old carboard box is not just a box, when it's sold for a lot of money to people whose houses are full of crap, it's a "storage solution".

The solution pictured above is the R-Kive woodgrain cardboard storage box. It is, in my opinion, the Rolls Royce of such storage boxes. It's very sturdy, it doesn't come to bits when it's full, and it's a nice size. 40cm x 33cm x 26cm, in fact, which my maths tells me gives a storage capacity of.. erm.. (calculator..) 0.034 cubic metres. It doesn't sound so much when you put it like that, (I'm sure I've worked it out wrong) but even so, it's a decent size. You can fit about 60 VHS tapes inside one.

I know this because I have many of these boxes. OK, admittedly, I only have 5 of the luxury woodgrain ones, which I do love ever so much, but during my tidying today I counted and verified that I have another 40 of the only slightly less excellent R-Kive non-woodgrain plain cardboard boxes of the same size. This means that I must have.. erm... (calculator) at least 1.53 cubic metres of clutter stored therein. It doesn't sound so much when you put it like that.

Of course not all of my clutter is in these boxes, if they were then things would be a whole lot tidier. But the standard sized box is my weapon of choice when it comes to - if not 'de-cluttering' - at least 'tidying' slightly. I have several nooks and crannies around the place where collections of 2 or more of these boxes gather.

I only have 45 of these boxes, and I'm determined not to buy any more, so every so often when I run out of space, I try to condense the contents of a few boxes into less boxes, so that I have an empty box again. It gets harder as time goes on. Right now I'm down to about two 'free' boxes, although one is full of bubble wrap and the other is full of stuff which I'll need to turf out first of all.

There is still much to do, but today has definitely been a tidy Saturday. Already gone from my bedroom are many useless elastic bands, some dried-up pens, a couple of VHS video cases, (I can't throw these all away at once, there is nothing wrong with them, but I can manage one at a time) a desk lamp which never really worked quite right but has now shown weakness by allowing the bulb inside to go, several large cardboard boxes of non-regulation size, and a whole tea chest which has now been emptied.

The tea chest is important because it will be the final one from my previous house moves 9 and 13 years ago, respectively. Its disappearance will therefore doubtless be of some significance in a way I can't quite grasp just now. Most importantly, the space it occupied has now been occupied by three storage boxes moved from elsewhere, resulting in a greater appearance of tidiness. There is still room for another four storage boxes to go on top, too, so I might take that opportunity to reduce the clutter in the hallway, currently home to 15 storage boxes, but soon perhaps only 11.

I swear I'm going to get my life back in some kind of order before the year is out. It's been too long. And I suspect that people are getting quite tired of listening to me talking about my never-ending tidy-up now. :-)

War on the Floor

Lookie! I have space in my room at last! Of course it doesn't have that dotted line around it in real life, I just put it in to make it easier to see in the photo.

It might not seem that impressive, but after nine months of almost non-stop tidying, (who am I kidding?) it's always nice to see progress of some kind. And what progress it is. As you can see, top left, there is still a fair clutter build-up by the door, but once I squeeze in, I can walk straight across to the other side of the room without having to step over or squeeze past anything. It is quite something.

That box at the top right of the dotted space area is full of documents from work, which I shall be dumping into the recycling bin the next time I'm in the office. Even more space will soon be mine!

So as you can see, progress is good.. All that's left is to tackle the bits around the sides... which as you can see, may be a little trickier..

The Unidentified Man

Money is the root of all evil. So they say. And actually they're wrong. They're quoting the Bible, but they don't know it. And what it actually said was "The love of money is the root of all evil."

For a good long part of my life, I didn't really have very much - or indeed any - money. During my grand tidy-up of old papers, I was surprised at how, as recently as fifteen years ago, just how many bills I managed not to pay on time - or at all - and how many red reminders and letters from debt collection agencies that resulted in.

But getting a decent job (actually two jobs, for a while) was the start on the road to turning it all around. It took about five years to get out of debt (although I was only really trying for about three of them) and I eventually reached the point where I had more money than I owed.

For a couple of years after that, I remained reasonably cash-positive, although I think I was still so delighted at being able to buy things that I bought lots of things I didn't really need. (Many of them I still have, and are part of the reason why 2007 is "The Year Of Tidying-Up", as discussed previously.)

According to the chart I printed this evening (because yes, I keep records, and yes, I know how to use the chart function in Excel), I can see that it seems to be around 2002 where I really became rather interested indeed in counting my beans. And slowly, through careful attention to the proper feeding and watering of my investments, suddenly they began to grow.

It's not just about earning money - it's about spending it wisely. That means being slightly more cautious before spending hundreds of pounds on shiny toys and baubles.. it means making sure you're not spending more than you need on those everyday bills (gas, electric, phone, etc), it means paying more attention to what interest rate you get on your bank account and ISA. (No, really, everyone should have an ISA.)

It has been suggested that paying such attention to pennies is somewhat mean. In my defence I'd say I'm not quite that bad. There are plenty of ways that I could cut my living costs to the bone, but I don't. You have to have some fun, after all. That said, there's no point in spending 45p a minute calling a mobile phone if you can do it for 6p, and things like that do get my attention.

Without really trying I've spent most of this evening thinking about money. Checking what I have, and where it is, and if it has gone up any, and whether there is any extra free money to be had by moving to a better-paying savings account. I applied for one just a moment ago, in fact. Every good boy deserves 6.25% interest, wouldn't you say?

It was in a similar mood a few months ago that I tried to open a savings account with the nice people at the Halifax. I'm a web person so I do that kind of thing online, and it all seemed to go quite well until they decided, at the end of the application, that to comply with money-laundering legislation, they needed to verify my identity, and that I would need to prove my identity by means of the supply of varying pieces of identifying documentation.

Eventually a list arrived in the post, complete with helpful Government leaflets thanking me for taking the time to fight the war on terrorism. All very nice too. But I find myself stuck - the documents it wants, I do not have. I must supply two, or maybe even three, documents from the list they provide. I call the Halifax Help Line to see what they can do.

Birth Certificate.. OK, everyone should have one of these. I have one, I'm just not sure where it is. I do have a photocopy. Will that do? "No," I am assured by the man on the phone.

Passport.. Not got one of these..

Driving Licence.. I don't drive.

Oh dear, we have a problem. The big three pieces of documentation, and I don't have them. Well, don't worry, there are other documents they can accept, just for such an occasion. So if I could send a copy of my Shotgun Licence instead, all will be well.

Is that a trick question? Apparently, no it's not. Alas, while remaining entirely in this country and travelling only by bus, I have little cause to own or be firing any shotguns.

Tax forms from the inland revenue? I have a P60, will that do? "Ah, no, except for a P60," they say.

Bank statement? I have one of those, surely.. Ah. A recent bank statement. Recent being last three months. Remember how about.. oh, four months ago, I reported that I had got my bank to only send me one bank statement a year?

Identity card? No. Residence permit? No. Benefit book? No. Construction industry photocard? No. Disabled badge? No.

Phone bill? Yes! Well, a mobile phone bill. "No sir, it has to be a landline bill." Ah.. Well, the landline isn't in my name. (It was installed years ago. I pay the bills but never bothered to change the name on the account.)

Gas or electric bill? Yes! Yes! I have those! And they're in my name! Of course for best value I have my gas and electricity with Powergen, who send me my bills online.. so a printout of that would be OK? No, it will not be OK. Apparently it has to be a proper bill.

So we're really doing very well. Of course in the meantime, rapid and seismic changes in interest rates mean that the Halifax account I was applying for is not as good value as it was anyway. Given that it's going to be near-impossible to prove that I am who I say I am, I may not be able to bother.

What a world. I got enhanced CRB checked a few years back, I had to provide SEVEN pieces of documentation to prove I was who I said I was, and there didn't seem to be a problem then. Maybe I should just keep my savings under the matress instead.

It's Not Easy Being Green

Apparently last year, the Government came up with a list of pledges, for World Environment Day. And since being green is an important part of my international playboy lifestyle, I like to help the dolphins whenever and wherever possible. So let's review:

"1. I promise I will take a shower instead of a bath."

Absolutely not. Under no circumstances. I went seven years without taking a bath (because I lived somewhere which only had a shower, silly..) and eventually I couldn't stand it a moment longer. I like a nice bath. I save the environment by not having as many of them as perhaps I should do, which is very carbon neutral, although possibly a little stinky.

"2. I promise I will put a water saving device in my toilet."

Er.. no? Actually while I was having my bathroom ripped out and replaced with a new one, I did have the toilet replaced by a super-luxury device which has a much smaller tank and two flush buttons - a water-saving number one flush for number ones, and the monster number two flush, for number twos. I am always careful to flush accordingly.

"3. I promise I will turn the tap off when I brush my teeth"

Whose daft idea was that? Admittedly I did try this, as well as turning the tap off when shaving, but it is very annoying - because you keep having to turn the tap back on and off every time you want to wash away your toothpaste and bristles. Really if this saving the planet thing is going to catch on, it's going to need some work on its usability.

"4. I promise to use rechargeable batteries instead of disposable ones"

I quite like this idea anyway - problem is that I keep losing my battery chargers, so have to keep buying new ones. But I'm trying to rid myself of all disposable batteries - just as soon as I've used up all the ones I have.

"5. I promise to use a reusable bag when I shop, rather than plastic carriers."

I sometimes do this. But usually Tesco deliver my shopping in their nice little vans. They still use carrier bags, though. I could ask them not to, but then they'd have to unpack their green boxes in my kitchen, and I'm not sure if I'm that ready to accomodate strangers into my home beautiful.

"6. I promise to air my washing in public - not in the tumble dryer"

I'd love to, but where I live has this rule about not having the nice look of the locale messed up by having people's underwear flying in the breeze.

"7. I promise I will boil only the water I need, rather than filling the kettle every time."

I do try to do that - but my kettle doesn't seem to like boiling small amounts of water, and usually pays me back by dumping large lumps of limescale into my tea if I try. Perhaps I should buy a new one.

"8. I promise I will share my car journeys to work with a colleague, cycle or replace those car journeys with public transport at least once a week."

I don't go to work by car. In fact when I can be bothered to go to work, I share the journey with hundreds of other people. Who knew that using the trains would save the planet?

"9. I promise that I will pay back the environmental impact of any air travel I take"

No problem - I've never flown anywhere and can't imagine starting any time soon.

"10. I promise I will organise or volunteer for an environmental project in my local community."

No. That sounds altogether like a nuisance.

 

There must be easier ways to save the world..