Doughnutty

There are too many doughnuts in my home. I bought some doughnuts last night, coming home from the office Christmas party. There's a little doughnut shop at the train station. They sell doughnuts, as you would expect. So, since I do not regularly enjoy doughnuts very often at all, last night I thought I would pick up some to bring home.

The hungry traveller can buy a selection box of the variously-topped doughnuts, which seems very convenient. Looking at the price list, I see that if you buy one box, you can get a second box at a discount. This seems like good value for money. After all, doughnuts are expensive. Good, but expensive.

What I did not realise, not being a seasoned doughnut purchaser, is that a box of doughnuts is not six doughnuts, it is twelve. Which, by the way, is more. This means that the second box of doughnuts is also not six, it is another twelve, making a total of 24 doughnuts. Plus, as it was late at night, because they would otherwise have gone to waste, because I have a nice smile, or perhaps because they thought I was homeless, they gave me a third box on the house. And a free bag to put them all in.

This is 36 doughnuts, which, by the way, is too many for one person to eat in a sensible timeframe, and a full three times as many as the already too many 12 doughnuts I had been expecting. The result being that I have 30 doughnuts in my fridge (yes I know, I'm a bad boy) still waiting to be eaten. I have a feeling that the remainder may go hard - or off - before I reach them. What is a boy to do?

In recognition of my valued custom and my single-handed attempt at proping up the doughnut economy, they gave me a voucher, which entitles me to 12 more free doughnuts, if I buy another 12 doughnuts in January. By that time, I expect to have learnt my lesson - that even 12 doughnuts is too many doughnuts to purchase at once, let alone buy 12 get 12 free. Either that, or I will have had my Christmas enlivened by one or more heart attacks. In which case, I will probably be in no mood for doughnuts, unless I have to spend any more time in hospital with a "Nil By Mouth" sign over my bed. Which, by the way, is how I spent a couple of days a few weeks ago - but that's another story which I'll tell you later.