It's not for me to examine my own navel, but upon discovering that this would be my 100th blog posting, it put me in a mood to somehow celebrate the occasion. And what better way by looking back on my so-far illustrious career in blog-type-entertainment?
It was on September 10th 2006 that things started, with me noticing as I do that my blog had been viewed 8 times before I had even written a single word. Clearly a good sign, and more than a year on, I can report that AOL's blog counter is no more reliable now than it was then. It has reset itself back to '0' at least twice this year already, thus leaving me unable to measure the audience in any meaningful fashion. Ho hum.
It was not long before I was paying attention to how gorgeous I am, albeit strictly in a virtual kind of sense, before moving to the always good-value subject of Lies My Parents Told Me (Volume One), which reminds me that don't think I ever did get around to Volume Two and the delightful story of the tomato. Then again, I might have done so and just forgotten it - I have lots of things to think about after all and sometimes there is not enough room between my ears.
Attempting some 'lifestyle blogging' about infeasible smoothies was very Daily Mail and entirely a disaster that I didn't see fit to repeat. Then the first in a long range of mental musings set more of a pattern for what was to come. All this and I'd only been blogging for a week, too.
That seemed to jinx things and the next week went entirely unblogged apart from the recycling of The Ridiculous Frog Song and, the very same day, my hilarious take on how 3-2-1 worked which I will still admit to being rather pleased with. Trouble was soon to follow as I wondered how to feed myself when Tesco's website was down or how I would ever play the piano again as a unidexter.
Not bad for a first month's work, soon followed by many other entries not entirely worthy of mention, although the hilarious battery story is always a crowd-pleaser, and might explain why I was still single. Luscious Ladies clearly overlooked the fact that I invented blogging but then again back then my bedroom was such a tip that I couldn't have invited them upstairs for coffee even if I'd wanted to. I was lucky to see anyone at all, even a greasy Talk Talk salesman who I really should have gone all John-Smeaton on. But hindsight is always 20/20.
My grand plans to mess with people's clocks came to nought, but at least there were reasons to be cheerful - of course, talking about how delighted I was by my gas boiler was bound to cause me trouble later. But at least I knew how to fix things like a nerd, which is always an attractive quality. Things were no tidier in November, but that would change later too. Next month I got a dirty email from Amazon, which was always going to be prime blogging territory, and wrote the first of two entries about dreaming, and the start of the incredibly long-running and crowd-pleasing King Of Postage series.
By the new year I was feeling literary, in between trying to tidy up and thinking about Speak & Spell and reading more dirty email. Tidying progress was slow, as this horrifying picture shows, which required the launching of The War On Elastic Bands and its sister conflict, The War On Lightbulbs and non-stop boring updates on Project Tidy. Life indoors is still warm but expensive as I settled in to the realisation that I'd probably be tidying up all year before I got anywhere. Not until much later would I have floor space upon which to dance and swing cats. Even then it did not prevent the blizzard of boring articles about cardboard boxes from coming. :-)
In the midst of all the excitement, I never did find out why Yul Brynner was unavaialble.
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