Local Business

As a responsible member of the community, I'm all about supporting local business whenever and wherever I can.

OK, this is not true. Local business is usually less convenient and more expensive than proper national retailers and harsh conglomerates who would mortgage their grandmothers if they thought it'd earn them a quarter of a penny more than the alternative.

But nonetheless, there are some local businesses of which I approve, and am filled with a feeling that it is nice to have them around. A good fish-and-chip shop, for example, is always important in any civilised society. Luckily there is one at the bottom of my street, although this week it is closed, not to reopen until the end of the month. No matter, it is not good to eat chips too often anyway. Nutritious, life-giving fish in batter, perhaps, is more allowable.

Post Offices are good things to have in your locality. My Post Office is filled with staff who are generally surly and unhelpful. Generally I avoid using it, except when I have to. But when I do have to, it's nice that it's there, and not further away.

Corner shops are wonderful things, and of those I have none, but I do have three Co-operatives of various sizes. Co-ops are often more expensive than Tesco Home Delivery, but they are at least closer and more convenient. On the whole, this is to be welcomed.

There was a nice local barber's just up the road from me, which I have of course never used, being a hairy thing, but I was thinking that one day I might wish to take advantage of their services. Unfortunately it seems that they have just decided to close down.

The loss of a local service is a sad thing, which has brought my thoughts to other local shops whose absence would make me unhappy. Certainly high on that list would be the little local cake shop, at the bottom of my road and on the left a bit. It is a very nice shop, making all kinds of cakes of any size and type that you may ask.

I enjoy their service and so they do benefit from my business at any opportunity. If I scout around my close family for birthdays, and include myself, this presents three opportunities for delicious cake each year. Including Christmas, and it would be rude not to, makes this up to four months of the year where I have a good reason to order bespoke cake.

Thing is, I could just go for a slice of cake right now, and yet I have none in the house. Normally a good thing, as that situation, when it occurs, does not persist, much to the detriment of my waistline. But even with my incredible willpower and overall rock-hard sturdiness, I figure that maybe it would be OK to have cake once a month. This seems only fair, after all.

But with only four months of the year accounted for by 'good reasons' for cake, this leaves eight months where there is no cake at all: January, March, April, June, July, August, October and November.

And it does strike me that, not for personal gain you understand, It is incumbent on me... nay, it is an obligation for me to support my local business, and that therefore I should think of good excuses to frequent the cake shop more often. Thing is, since these cakes are custom made, the usual request is what message I would like to have iced on the top. Months with birthdays are easy, and a December order can always be justified with "Merry Christmas". But what of the other months of the year?

Should I made up birthdays for relatives I do not have? It would be convenient to have a stray Aunt Gladys whose occasion could be celebrated with a nice iced sponge. Perhaps I can look for other celebratory occasions by which I may perpetrate the subterfuge. I figure that I could get away with a couple of unspecified "Happy Aniversary" cakes in a year. What of the other months? "Happy Pirate Day" would be quite allowable in September, but in the year this still leaves several un-iced cakes without a cause.

I shall have to give this more thought. I wonder if there's still time to sneak in a January order too...