Bored! I am bored. I can't think of anything else to do. Nothing for it but to go to bed. With all that Red Bull I should be flying right about now, but.. no effect. Like the mighty buffalo, I am impervious to caffeine. And also, like the mighty buffalo, I am a sleepy boy. So off to sleep I shall go, and perhaps if I am lucky I could continue that nice dream I had last night.
Night night. :)
Well, it is past midnight. All my friends are (apparently) in bed.. and yet, I cannot help but feel that the day is not yet over. There is much to do! Much tidying to be done. I could be useful, productive, in these small hours.
To assist, I have just enjoyed a delicious tin of 'Red Bull', an energy drink which is apparently known for its beneficial effects during "periods of increased mental and physical exertion". It also contains 80mg of caffeine.
I am reasonably confident that caffeine does not work on me. Previous times when my co-workers have implored me not to enjoy that second Starbucks Frappucino, because the high coffee content will have me bouncing off the walls, proved that I am impervious to stimulants of any kind. So it will be this evening too, I am sure.
Now I'm off to tidy my envelopes. I will report back if I notice this drink having any effects whatsoever.
The picture you see, screen right, is the new look of the left-hand wall. (Members of the Tidy Club will be able to compare this with previous pictures taken from roughly the same angle.) At first glance, not much different, you may think - but no! Witness the new arrival of the off-green filing cabinet in the middle. This heavy piece of metal, resplendent with Pingu fridge magnet, joins the left hand wall for the first time this evening, after I painstakingly humped it across the room from the other side, where it had been for the best part of ten years.
I'm informed that use of the word "humped" occasionally causes confusion, and while there is nothing improper about the love between a man and his filing cabinet, I should clarify that I'm just referring to the process of pushing and shoving it across the room. I probably should have emptied it first but that would have taken far longer.
Why the hoohah about moving a filing cabinet a few feet across the room? Well, because now on the other side of the room, there is brand new space where a filing cabinet used to be! I think I might put a chair there. The space is also nicely positioned near the window, which means that I might even get an attack of the "Home Beautiful"s and put up some new curtains there, to replace the faded 'Garfield' curtains that I have treasured for so long.
I feel alive with the wonder of tidying. I am looking forward to the new tidying opportunities on the right-hand-side of the room that have been opened up by this furnitural rearrangement. Life is good, no?
At this time of year, it is through music that the emotions of the season are often best expressed. So here's a nice tune from a group called N*Sync, who almost nobody has heard of outside America. I guess that makes them 'indie'. Apart from the over-staged conceit at the start, this may be my favourite Christmas tune ever. Do forgive the video, though - after all, it was 1998 at the time...
So I tried a different online test to see if I liked the results any better, and this just seems to be suggesting that I'm crazy. Hmph.
73 | |
21 | |
59 | |
49 | |
56 |
| You do not experience strong, irresistible cravings and consequently do not find yourself tempted to overindulge, however you experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. People generally perceive you as distant and reserved, and you do not usually reach out to others. You tend not to express your emotions openly and are sometimes not even aware of your own feelings. You naturally assume that most people are fair, honest, and have good intentions, however you feel superior to those around you and sometimes tend to be seen as arrogant by other people. You believe that you have the intelligence, common sense, drive, and self-control necessary for achieving success. |
| Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report |
So I took one of those stupid online tests to see what kind of person I am....
| Greed: | High | |
| Gluttony: | Medium | |
| Wrath: | Medium | |
| Sloth: | High | |
| Envy: | Very Low | |
| Lust: | Low | |
| Pride: | High |
Looking out of my window, I notice that my surroundings are still.. well, surrounded... by much ground frost. It arrived last night, and it has not gone away today.
Needless to say, it presses all the correct buttons. Outside is cold and frosty and getting dark. Indoors it is well-lit and warm. And I am indoors. And still on holiday.
Christmas is here. Merry Christmas to all.
A busy day around the house today, as the nice people from Tesco delivered large quantities of seasonal food and drink and such, necessary to tide me over the whole two day Christmas period where the shops might be closed for a few minutes.
Having taken delivery of all that is needed to eat, drink and be merry, it was also time for the King Of Postage to resume his duties and ensure the delivery of the many bits and pieces that the world's eBayers had furiously bid on just recently. I sold something like 25 items at the weekend, and today was the day to take the largest and most heaviest items to the Post Office for them to be posted - by first class mail of course (The King is aware of Last Posting Dates) - to ensure delivery by Christmas.
Needless to say, even bearing his sack of pre-stamped mail, the King had to take his place in the queue behind many people who were stupid and ordinary, trying to post their strangely shaped items by just putting them in the largest jiffy bag that is purchasable. For the avoidance of doubt, the King wishes to make clear that enormous jiffies are NOT the way to safely post large or irregular objects, and he disapproves of such potential postage disasters.
If you are posting things which are strangely shaped (as indeed the King was doing himself this afternoon) then you must properly packetise the item. Or, to be blunt, put it in a box! Only a box will give your item enough protection not to arrive at the other end looking as if a hoarde of elephants have sat on it. (The Royal Mail have a special department for that, with many elephants sitting down on parcels as they pass through the machines. It's in Bristol.)
"But I can't just put it in a box, it will roll around and go lopsided and such" you might say, and the King of Postage would respect such a display of intelligence with the disclosure of further packaging secrets. Once you have your irregular item in a box, you need to make sure that it is properly insulated, cushioned from attack from any of the six sides which your box is statistically very likely to have. Bubble wrap is always nice to have and is freely available in common stores. But for extra deluxeness, the King of Postage recommends the new wave of "plastic air cushions", these being super elite pillows containing nothing but air. These may be placed around, underneath, and on top of your item, keeping it safe and secure, without adding crucial weight to your package that might otherwise cause the requirement to buy extra stamps.
When your package is properly wrapped, ensure to use appropriate taping techniques to keep your box nicely sealed and looking fantastic during its progress through the postal system and eventually to the doorstep of the recipient. Who wouldn't be delighted to receive a perfectly-wrapped package in time for Christmas?
So, in summary, you can never be the King of Postage, but you can get close by always having a good supply of the following:
- Parcel Tape (bonus points for the good thick stuff)
- Common bubble wrap
- Plastic mailing bags
- Nice cardboard boxes
- Air Cushions
- Sellotape (the WIDE stuff, not the thin rolls)
And always remember, Jiffy Bags are only to be used for posting CDs, DVDs, and small books. If it isn't flat, square, or rectangular, use a box.
The King of Postage has spoken. And wishes you all a Merry Christmas.
This just arrived in my junk mail folder. I swear I'm not making this up.
"Change your little sausage to a huge one! With these medicaments, it will grow so big, that even Donald Trump will want to own it."
I guess he needs something to do now he can't build that golf course...
