Torture

A few months ago I decided to step into the 1990s and buy a new mobile that could do all those new things that mobiles do these days - make noises, take photos, show pictures, that kind of stuff.

It's hard to imagine how we lived in the days that you could only use a mobile phone to make a telephone call - it seems like the dark ages. Why, back then, when a mobile rang it would make a discrete little beeping noise. Today, this multi-screen multi-camera machine virtually blasts out the windows, screaming "HELLLLLLO MOTOOOOO!!!" before furious techno music begins blaring out of the unit.

I hardly use mobiles at the best of times, so this evening I turned it on for the first time in a little while, and it informs me that I have voicemail! Someone left a message this morning. Dial 123 to hear your voicemail, it tells me.

I dial 123, to be told that I don't have enough credit. I must top up. So I try to top up. And it won't let me, because I only registered my credit card two days ago, and I must wait 7 days before I will be allowed to top up.

All the while, my voicemail is waiting. I cannot hear it. I wonder what it is, but I cannot find out. It is torture. There must be a way that I can convince this thing to let me hear my messages...